Day32- FAILURE

Yesterday night I was having goal to wake up today early morning at 4.30 AM, but I didn't meet my goal. No excuses, accepted my failure with my roommate. My definition of failure is not having control on myself. General failures may not look like a failure for me, as long as I have control on myself I can lead failure to another success but no excuses for these kind of failures. I will try today again, will sleep today at 1.30 AM, and I am setting goal to wake up at 4.00 AM, if I don't wake up tomorrow morning, then I will stop dreaming about many things which I want to achieve, (I told to my roommate that if I don't wake up tomorrow I will hang myself, my roommate is going to arrange wire for hanging, he suggested me to hang far away from the room so that he will be safe :-), at least to live some more time I have to wakeup tomorrow...... I don't deserve to dream if I don't have determination. Generally I don't need alarm to wakeup early morning, even with alarm I failed yesterday, I don't know what happened alarm didn't ring.God is taking revenge on me by taking away my determination:-)......

Valentines day, full hungama in this beautiful Melbourne city. I am the one among very few who is going alone on the streets. Went to Indian restaurant for lunch, my colleague was also there in the restaurant celebrating his wife's birthday. Great coincidence for him, every Valentines Day he is having two reasons to celebrate. Enjoyed buffet lunch with him and then headed to office. Finished some work and then came back to room.

Spoke to my mother for long hours, most of the times too friendly conversation with my mom. All poojas completed for the well being of my brother, when my farther tried to do same pooja's for me also, priest didn't agree as we don't know my time of birth. Pity Anil, god won't favor now :-)..One of my relative stopped going to college, his father also doing pooja's so that his son will start going to college again. Every pooja costs thousands of rupess, good business for the preists.

Prepared and had dinner at home. Through out the day my subconscious mind reminding my today's failure, only tomorrow I can take this guilty feeling away if I wake up. One more hour to sleep, will experiment with Microsoft excel for an hour.

Good night.